Michelle Obama isn’t focused on building friendships with her daughters if anything, she thinks they benefit from a traditional relationship.
Michelle Obama Shapes a New Generation
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The former First Lady appeared on Revolt TV’s “The Cross-Generational Conversation,” which she hosted herself and featured a panel of women including Angie Martinez, Beyonce’s mother Tina Knowles, singer Kelly Rowland and Her, and model Winnie Harlow.
The conversation swayed in every way from struggles in the industry to confidence and courage to parenthood as several of the women on the panel were mothers. However, the most interesting part of the conversation was Obama’s relationship with his daughters Sasha and Malia, who are now in their twenties.
Michelle Obama Doesn’t Worry About Making Friends
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When pressed by Rowland about his relationship with his grown daughters and if he wants to be friends with them, Obama offered a firm line for a wise reason: “Once you decide you want your kids to be your friends, now you’re worried about them liking you , and there is so much parenting that has nothing to do with them liking you.”
He goes on to share that he prefers not to be their friend and encourages them to grow on their own happy or unhappy. “What you have to teach them is the opposite of what they want. With friends, you want them to be happy all the time,” Obama said.
“Your children have to learn how to live in their unhappiness, they have to learn how to live with injustice, and they have to learn in their homes. Their first injustice cannot happen at school or when they are 30 years old.”
Tina Knowles Feels The Same
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Obama was supported by Knowles, another mother on the panel who shared similar ideas about friendship with children. She famously adopted Rowland as her own daughter when she was in the group Destiny’s Child with her daughter Beyonce.
He finally realized that he could not give birth to any girls and had to push them to push themselves. To do that, he had to stop being their friend. “[Kelly] kept turning to see me and I was like ‘I feel like I’m crawling’, I want to run and take him to the door.”
Knowles said, reflecting on the time he told Rowland to go to a real school despite her pleas to stay home, making Knowles question and doubt her decision, Obama felt what Knowles did.
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He cited his recently released book “The Light We Carry” where he talks about fear and how it can trick people into holding back. “When we prevent our children from feeling fear, we prevent them from feeling competent.”
Obama insists that “competence is critical in your child. Teaching them that they are independent,” which is something she did for her daughter and something she encourages those parents to consider.
Her singer admits that it’s “hard to be vulnerable” especially when you’re on a “platform” like her. In his twenties now is where he begins to understand and accept that vulnerability and get rid of that fear.
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Source: thtrangdai.edu.vn/en/
