DEAR ABBY: My son and his wife rent a property from my husband and I at a very reasonable rate in today’s not-so-reasonable world. We recently found out they got a cat, even though the lease they signed clearly stated no pets allowed.
My son said we took this personally instead of approaching this as a landlord. How can we not take this personally? He and his new wife have broken our trust. Ironically, if we approach this only as landlords, we will evict them immediately.
What can we say to make them understand how hurt we are without ruining the relationship? They are expecting a baby soon. We’ve got the “sorry, not sorry” text. This breaks us down as parents. — THE RULES ARE THE RULES IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR RULE: Tell your child that you feel disrespected because he picked up the cat without cleaning it with you. Although he may say he wants you to act like your landlord, as a tenant, he is violating the terms of the lease he signed.
Whether you decide to grant him and his wife an exemption for their cat and allow them to keep the animal, please refer it to the website of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC.gov). Precautions must be taken by pregnant cat owners to avoid contracting toxoplasmosis, a parasitic infection, which can be transmitted to the fetus during pregnancy.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are raising our two daughters (6 and 7) with my sister and her son (10). My sister and her baby daddy separated before their child was born because he was physically and emotionally abusive. However, the law allows him to still be in the boy’s life.
I love my sister and my niece, that’s why we raised our family as a village. The thing is, we see the same traits in my nephew’s behavior towards our daughter. He is manipulative and a bit “too normal” towards my eldest. She looked up to him, and he used her to make him do what he wanted.
Now my 7 year old is abusing and torturing my 6 year old. I am torn because my gut is telling me to move and keep my daughter away from my nephew, but she is a child too, and I want to continue to support her so she can grow up to be a good man. However, I am not willing to sacrifice my girl for her potential. What to do? — BE CAREFUL MOTHER/AUNT
DEAR MOM: Your children must come first before your sister’s children. Since your older daughter is now emulating her cousin’s misbehavior and acting out against her younger sister, it’s time to discourage that behavior and limit, if not cut off, her relationship with her cousin before it causes lasting damage. You can’t save everyone. It is your duty to protect your daughter from any negative influence.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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