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Eminem Opens Up About Depression
Eminem is celebrating XXL’s 25th anniversary and is doing so by looking back at his career, including talking about tough topics like depression and drug addiction.
“I was at my lowest point,” Eminem told XXL. “I don’t even know what I’m going to do because it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. I’m 24 and I’ve got a baby to take care of and all I want to do is rap, but it’s not looking good. I’m so depressed.”
But everything changes for the “Lose Yourself” rapper when he suddenly finds himself at Dr. Dre, got the opportunity of a lifetime. “I remember I was in the car with some friends and shit before I went to LA, right after the Rap Olympics in 1997,” Eminem told XXL.
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The firm’s album had just been released and the track “Phone Tap” was “one of the greatest beats ever made”, according to Eminem. “I remember saying, ‘If I could be with Dre, man, my God is so crazy. He’s so sick’,” she told XXL. And then, three weeks later, Eminem found himself at Dre’s house. “We made The Slim Shady LP. That was a fun album to make, but it was also where everything suddenly changed,” the rapper explained.
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Eminem’s History With Drug Addiction
Shortly after Eminem made his album “The Slim Shady LP” with Dr. Dre, drugs became a big part of how the rapper coped.
“When I first came out to LA, me and some guys I hung out with used to go to Tijuana and we’d buy drugs,” Eminem said. “Vicodin and stuff like that. I don’t know how many times we’ve done it, but it’s so easy to go back and forth doing it. The last time we went, we were in the second row and this guy was in the front. than we started arguing with the guys at Customs, and they threw him on the ground and started taking pills out of his pocket and shit. We were very scared, but we managed. And when I said we have a mother. pants were filled with pills. I don’t know how many we have.”
The rapper “Stan” never thought he had a problem with drugs. “I just really like drugs,” he said. And the more money the artist earns, the more drugs he can buy.
“My addiction didn’t start in my early days when I came over. We used to drink 40s on the porch and just rap battle with each other. My drug use started early on that first album. I didn’t take anything hard until I became famous. I was experimenting. I didn’t find the drug of choice. Back then you go on tour and people just give you free drugs. I managed it for a while. And then, it just became, I love this thing too much and I don’t know how to stop.”
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Eminem dives deeper into the discussion, touching on how much pressure he faces as a White rapper. In fact, XXL even wrote an article about the artist, and how hurt he was by that.
“I don’t know if I read the whole article—I’m used to reading things like that about me—but it hurts because I don’t think they know me enough to make that kind of judgment,” he said. “Coming up, I had to deal with that. I wanted to be respectful because what I was doing was Black music. I knew I was going to be on it as a house guest. And XXL, The Source, Rap Pages and Vibe were hip-hop’s books at the time that.”
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And this pressure all happened at the same time he was battling drugs, and even though Eminem was starting to realize his addiction internally, others didn’t. “I was able to minimize my addiction and hide it for a while until it got really bad,” he explains, which happened as he came off The Marshall Mathers LP and into the Encore album.
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“I was taking Vicodin, Valium and alcohol,” Eminem told XXL. “I kind of fell off the map a little bit and didn’t explain why I left. I remember things started getting really bad when me, 50 and G-Unit did BET’s 106 & Park. We performed “You Don’t Know” on that show and then we did an interview after that. That’s when the wheels started coming off. One of the hosts was talking to me and I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. 50 had to shut me up and answer every question.”
The rapper then began taking Ambien, but things really changed for Eminem when his friend, Proof, died.
“I was in my own house, and I just lay in bed and I couldn’t move and I kept staring at the ceiling fan. And I kept taking more pills,” the rapper explained. “I literally couldn’t walk for two days when that happened and eventually my drug use skyrocketed. I had 10 drug dealers at one time that gave me shit. Seventy-five to 80 Valiums a night, which is a lot. I don’t know how am I still here. I’m numb to myself.”
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But looking back, Eminem realizes that all of his heaviest drug use and addiction only happened about five years into his life.
“It feels like it happened a long time ago, but looking back now, it didn’t take long for my problem to explode like it did,” he said.
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Source: thtrangdai.edu.vn/en/
