An Australian Jewish hairdresser who donated sperm to a lesbian couple was shocked when she received a text from them last month saying they no longer wanted to use her sperm because of the current conflict in Gaza.
Jay Lazarus, 37, who describes himself as a South African-born gay Jewish man raised in Australia, told The Post he was surprised by their decision.
The journey began in October 2022 when the Perth-based stylist, who knew she always wanted to donate sperm to help couples, joined a Facebook group that helps couples find sperm donors.
Lazarus said he was shocked by the Queensland couple’s story and decided he wanted to help them.
Fertility laws are very different Down Under and Lazarus underwent months of in-person genetic testing, medical tests and counseling sessions with her partner. He also became close with the two, talking to them on Zoom chats and maintaining weekly contact through texts and calls.
Jay Lazarus was shocked when the couple told him they no longer wanted to use his seeds. Jay Lazarus/Facebook Jay Lazarus was informed that the couple had decided not to proceed with sperm donation due to the conflict in Gaza. Instagram / @jay.lazarus86
The couple knew from the beginning that Lazarus was a Jew.
He is also very open with how much they want him in their child’s life. He is happy to be an “uncle” who will be known as a biological father or if they prefer, have no relation at all.
He donated the sperm in September 2023 and it was immediately frozen for three months until more tests were done.
After October 7, Lazarus shared Instagram posts supporting Israel, none criticizing the Palestinians. The couple did not mention the post or comment on it.
The couple knew from the beginning that Lazarus was a Jew. Jay Lazarus/Facebook
However, the relationship ended last month, when they suddenly texted her.
Although they expressed “deep gratitude” and acknowledged that he had been “absolutely amazing throughout this journey,” they did not feel comfortable continuing to use his sperm to get pregnant because they were “deeply affected” by the “war between Israel and Gaza.”
“We are down the rabbit hole with our emotional depth and ethical challenges,” the text read in part. “And truth be told we felt out of our depth.”
Lazarus describes himself as a gay Jewish man born in South Africa who grew up in Australia. Instagram / @jay.lazarus86
They insist that they are “about love and kindness” but do not feel that they have the “capacity to navigate this part of your identity in this donor relationship so we are respectfully ending it now.”
Lazarus was devastated and sat on it for weeks before deciding to share his story on social media to “share what I learned.”
“Prejudice is still persuasive, even among progressives who champion ‘goodness and love,'” he wrote. “Antisemitism is not just a relic of the past but a living and breathing prejudice that continues today.
He admits that he “can’t change their views” but “I refuse to let it diminish my pride or lose hope.”
“I’m proud to be gay, proud to be Jewish, and proud to stand against hate.”
Lazarus said that he received only supportive comments and “not one negative comment. It’s really amazing and I’m blown away by them.”
He has heard from the Queensland couple, who sent him a message but admits he has yet to open it.
“I’m in Melbourne right now,” he explained,” and I’m having fun with my friends for a wedding. “I don’t want to ruin my weekend and get mad.”
Lazarus posted this photo from his wedding with the caption “We Jews know how to get married.” Instagram / @jay.lazarus86
Lazarus, who got married in December, has not given up on donating sperm.
She is now involved with another couple, who unfortunately miscarried but will try again in March.
“They were very supportive and wonderful,” he said. “I think they were worried I was going to pull the pin on them.”
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Source: thtrangdai.edu.vn/en/
