Although Valerie Bertinelli has moved on from her abusive relationship with ex-husband Tom Vitale, she has certainly not forgiven or forgotten her abuser.
Since the estranged couple split, Bertinelli has repeatedly opened up on social media about Vitale’s abuse and their toxic marriage. Recently, she posted her thoughts on forgiveness in abusive relationships, suggesting that people should just forgive themselves in such situations, which worked for her as she felt more healed.
Valerie Bertinelli Believes She Needs to Forgive Herself, Not Her Abuser, to Heal
The TV personality does not hide her belief that people can heal and move on without forgiving their abusers as she declares herself to be living proof. He stated this through Instagram Threads in response to users who emphasized the importance of forgiveness and letting go of “negative emotions” in toxic relationships.
The discussion begins with the therapist explaining that one of her “biggest pet peeves” is when people act like forgiveness is necessary for healing, which she believes is a “destructive narrative.” Bertinelli agreed, saying, “Yes, yes, yes.” However, another user contradicted her, writing, “I think people are missing the point with forgiveness and what it means. It’s not for the abuser; it’s for the victim.”
The user continued, “It’s not saying what you’re doing is ok because they probably don’t care what you think. It is a release of negative emotions that only cause harm if you hold on to them.”
“I respectfully disagree,” Bertinelli wrote. “When you’re told you can’t heal if you don’t forgive (“it’s not for THEM, it’s for YOU”), it keeps some of us thinking ‘I’m not good enough. , I’m not good enough’ because I can’t forgive.”
She added that the only people who need forgiveness are the victims, who she can relate to because she feels “more healed and full of joy without the burden of forgiveness hanging over my head.” Several commentators agreed with the 63-year-old, including one who opined that “forgiveness is only given to those who sincerely apologize for their actions and make a sincere effort to change their behavior.”
Another supporter argued, “I don’t think anyone can tell another person how to grieve or when or whether to forgive.” A third user then points out that toxic people who have no value are not worth forgiving. They further assert that forgiveness may have to come in its own time; however, it has to happen at some point for the sake of both the abuser and the victim.
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Look at Threads
Last month, the Delaware native opened up about her past toxic relationships when she sent an encouraging message to friends who have survived narcissistic abuse. She took to her Instagram story with a reel from The Rising Wonder Woman’s feed featuring a message claiming real narcissistic abuse survivors are not depressed.
The post asserts that such victims need about 2-3 years to “regulate their nervous system.” Bertinelli had the same opinion as he wrote a comforting note that read, “Continue your inner work. It’s so beautiful over there!”
‘Valerie’s Home Cooking’ Host Less Interested In Dating Anyone Months After Divorce
A few months after Bertinelli divorced Vitale, she showed no intention of becoming romantically involved with anyone, given her ordeal in her second marriage. Using a TikTok video to the soundtrack of “Two Moons” by BoyWithUke, the “Touched by an Angel” actor made the revelation, and fans wasted no time getting it.
Part of the clip features the statement: “When someone asks if I’m going to start dating soon.” In response, the foodie paused before lip syncing, “Yeah, f–k no.”
In the comments section, one admirer voiced their support for Bertinelli to enjoy her life and do without a man, while another stated that they “couldn’t agree more.”
MEGA
Another fan said, “DITTO ???” before another described his declaration as “FREEDOM!!” This comes after the SAG Award nominee posted a message of hope on Instagram using a video of herself saying, “No matter how bad the storm is, when that blue sky comes out and you break through the crap, it’s so beautiful.”
He believes that makes the storm worth it because “you learn a lot” and feels confident to make it through.
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Source: thtrangdai.edu.vn/en/
